Depending on the degree or nature of the hurt, it may take your partner awhile to accept your attempt at repairing the relationship.But if you're truly sorry, be prepared for forgiveness to take some time.If you take the victim approach, you’ll never learn. Of course, maybe much of it really was someone else’s fault, but what can you do about that? They will force you to gaze into the depths of your soul and ask yourself, “Why? (God knows some people never see their shortcomings.) And understand that your shortcomings and your mistakes do not define you, but that you can rise above them and even make them into something beautiful. You don’t have to be the same person you were yesterday, or even a few moments ago. Let go of the limiting identity you’ve been imposing on yourself. The truth is that the world is full of love, it’s all around you, and it’s been there waiting to come pouring into you all along. Don’t ask for anything in return, but rejoice when you receive it anyway. Love that’s not freely given is not real love, but an ugly, twisted thing you’re trying to disguise as love. If that’s what you’re looking for, I would recommend you post on a forum such as enotalone or email an actual relationship advice columnist.You’ll keep on plowing through relationship after relationship, friend after friend, and you’ll wonder why things never seem to work out. You are here on earth to constantly change and improve yourself, to become the best you can be. Stop saying things like, “That’s just the way I am,” or “I can’t help it,” or “I can’t change.” You change, and you must change if you want to find love and happiness. Stop telling yourself you “can’t live without” someone, that you “need” a certain someone to make you feel special, to give you their love. In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you would keep any comments here relevant to the post. And if you’re human, which I’m assuming you are, one of two things will happen. But if you decide to accept responsibility for your actions, it won’t be easy. Do not ask life what the meaning of it all is, but realize that life is asking to find your own meaning. Because those walls are keeping love in, and they’re keeping it out. However, many people have also been sharing long, very personal relationship predicament stories and seemingly looking for advice or encouragement.Either you’ll adopt a victim mentality and convince yourself it was all someone else’s fault, or you will see it as your own fault and be wracked with guilt and shame. The guilt and the shame will keep you up at night and wake you early in the morning. Know that you have been given a gift: the gift of being able to see your own shortcomings. Open the floodgates and let all the love inside you go pouring out into all the world, and watch as it comes pouring right back to you in an endless stream. I would just like to say that although I won’t prohibit people from sharing their stories here if they find it helpful to do so and I will try to reply if I can, I am not an advice columnist or relationship expert, and this is really not the best place to post seeking advice about your personal life.But the closer they are, the more likely you are to hurt them.You will let out the ugliest parts of yourself, and you will drive people away.
When asked if they’ve been arranging dates on the apps they’ve been swiping at, all say not one date, but two or three: “You can’t be stuck in one lane …
Though it will be the last thing you want to do, you’ll end up doing it anyway. Realize that life is giving you a big opportunity to improve yourself.
It’s ironic, but the more desperate you are for love and companionship and belonging, and the more frantically you grasp at those things, the more swiftly they will run away from you. You have to learn that love won’t come to you until you stop trying so hard to hold onto it. See that life is giving you a challenge, and rise to it. PLEASE READ BEFORE COMMENTING: I am very touched that so many people have found this post and commented saying it has helped them in some way.
In situations like these, you can't always say what you mean, especially if what you mean is just plain mean (or if it means you will end up being fired or sent to rehab as a result).
Instead of speaking the truth, you tell your boss, “Sure, no problem,” so you don't get fired; you tell your doc “recreationally,” so they don't know that what medical professionals consider alcoholism you consider dinner; and you tell your friend that her “ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend is heinous” because you don't want her swan diving over some scumbag and his smoking hot new girlfriend.